5 Tips to Beat Burn-Out & Loneliness, and to meet People

5 Tips to Beat DN Loneliness, burnout, and to meet people

This is something I see all the time on the DN pages – that the big down of being a DN is the loneliness..

But I also see a lot of boasting about how many countries people have managed in a very short time, and people seeking out other DNs.

Putting these things together, I’m not surprised that DNs are lonely. You can’t get to know people – or a culture, or a country – if you are moving all the time.

But another thing that seems to be a DN myth is that you have to keep moving all the time.

This is not true!

There is no definition on how often you must move on to be a DN. There are no “DN police” checking the number of days and hours you stop in one city or town. Nomadism is way older than digital. I’ve been living the lifestyle on and off since 1985. And it was by no means a new thing then. Nomads have been around for as long as human beings have.

So how can we beat DN loneliness?

Being a digital nomad is a lifestyle. It’s about being free to roam and explore. It means being free of possessions, travelling out of one bag, being ready to move in a moment on a whim. It’s a way of travelling. Work (and other tricks) enables the journey to be extended. With enough work, this can be as indefinite as you choose.

It is not about the number of countries or the number of hours you can “legitimately” be in any one place. There really are almost no rules.

It’s a lifestyle.

Want to travel.

Will travel.

Start by thinking about why you set out in the first place, what you want out of it and out of your life. Then develop your own personal brand of nomadism to suit you. It can even change over time as you do!

Personally, I love to spend time experiencing new countries and cultures.

Here are my tips for having a more fulfilled time. While being happy in our own company is important, this doesn’t mean we need to be lonely.

1            Stay longer

I get the impression that most people are on this mad rush to jump from country to country, be always heading to a new location. If you are constantly on the move, on top of earning yourself bed and bread money, where do you even have time to experience the country and culture. Or to meet and connect with people.

Slow down.

Stop, even.

Not only will this give you time to get to know a place a bit. It will also be a lot cheaper. Transport is costly. Every time you move on is an additional cost.

Also, the longer you rent a room, the cheaper it will be on a daily basis. It can sometimes even be cheaper to rent a flat out for a month though you wish to stay for just a couple of weeks.

I ask on local facebook pages, and look for share housing. Share housing is instant people.

What’s more, this gives you a bit more time to make connections. Not only can you meet some of the same people a few times over, you will also gain more of a connection with the place as you get to know it. For me, learning how to function in my new environment is an achievement. Knowing the good places to eat, how to get around, some of the secrets that only locals know.

I go somewhere, and stay til I’m ready to move on. This can be anything from a few days to a few years.

I call myself a slomad. I have my work goals, but I also intend to enjoy myself. After all, isn’t that part of why we are doing this?

2            Find a Base and Stay Put

Travelers and tourists go from place to place, moving in some sort of a line.

Instead, as a DN, choose a place to stay, and explore from there. Most places will have plenty of options, day trips, overnight trips, weekends. But if you explore from the one spot, you can still get that continuity of location which allows for making personal connections.

From Tangier in Morocco, for example, there were several places around for a day trip – the Atlantic beaches, the Mediterranean beaches (beach is still an option in town), Chefchauen – the blue city, Asilah – a small beach place to the south of Tangier with a nice medina, Ceuta – the Spanish enclave an hour’s taxi ride away…

Push this up to a weekend and you are close enough to visit Rabat and Casablanca, Fes and Marrakech, catch the ferry to Spain, or a cheap flight to Barcelona, Madrid, Rome or even London if you plan ahead.

Tangier is a gem for this. But look at your spots and there are many which have such options. In Basilicata in southern Italy where I found a Workaway, I had access to Alberobello with its strange stone conical homes, 2019 cultural city of Matera with homes built into a cliffside since Neolithic times, Metaponto on the sea with its ancient Greek ruins, The beautiful Taranto, Napoli with the Amalfi coast and Pompeii, the beautiful Leche, Bari, forests and beaches…

Ask on local Facebook pages. Look for share housing. Share housing is instant people.

If having your own space is important, Facebook pages may have this information too, as well as booking.com and Airbnb. While some pages can be less friendly, I know some community and expat pages are set up for exactly this purpose, and for connecting people.

3            Stay in Hostels

I can already hear the reactions. Hostels are for drugs and drunken teenagers.

Actually, for most hostels, not true at all. Many people stay in hostels. I still stay in hostels at 62, and I am rarely the oldest. I even choose the mixed dormitories. If that is outside your comfort zone, they usually have some single rooms as well.

Why choose a hostel?

Two reasons:–

·       They are good for information.

·       They are also good for meeting people.

In choosing a hostel I look for:

·       Ones which have a kitchen. Being able to cook keeps the costs down, and invites social interaction. If you’re moving every few days this is impractical since most kitchens won’t even have cooking oil or other basics. But if you stay for a little, oil is very cheap, and there are a ways of cooking good food with very few ingredients.

·       Ones which have a breakfast offered. The reason is, if breakfast is offered, there is a good communal area which is conducive to meeting people. Hostels that I have stayed at which are well set up for this have sometimes resulted in breakfast lasting til lunch time, various outings, an shared and dinner company.

This doesn’t mean you have to make your whole stay at a hostel. But it’s a good place to start. And they can be a great place to ask for somewhere cheaper and long-term to stay. The hostels are typically run by people who know the local how-to.

When I look at hostels, besides location, I also look for a bed that includes power outlets, preferably a curtain, and a locker is also good.

I went to Marrakech with a couple of days free, expecting the leisure of some quiet self-time. In this, I was disappointed. I was constantly in company – starting before I even got off the train at the Marrakech train station. I also then met people as I walked to the main square. I met more people as I was looking for a hostel. I met more at the hostel itself. I had company for dinner, for window shopping and visiting sites… I was never alone!

4            Local Facebook Pages

So now you have arrived. You are in your hostel, or you may have found a share flat, or a room by yourself.

If you haven’t already, get onto the local social pages. By that, I don’t mean Morocco, or Spain. Go to the heart. Get on the Tangier Expats page, the Malaga page, the Dahab Activities page. And ask.

The pages will vary by town, and not always be as forthcoming as we’d like – which, tbh, could be a clue to the nature of the local community. But when I bought a ticket from London to Tangier just 2 days before my planned trip, I joined Tangier Expat page.

Before I left London I asked about jobs.

By the time I’d arrived in Tangier I had an interview set up, and a job confirmed a day later.

Two more days later and I was sorted into a flat because the page was set up by someone for renting places, as well as community connections, help and promotions and support of its members and their various projects and needs.

I see people ask if anyone is free for a coffee, what events are on, if anyone knows of a room available, where to find an English speaking dentist, or local language lessons, how to sort visas, or where to buy a particular brand of something… almost anything you can think of. If it’s a good page, there will be people to answer and give you help and information.

I am one of them. I have met quite a few people that way.

Tbh, I was meeting people all the time – at cafes, street corners looking for directions or where to eat, or by arrangement from Tangier Expats page. Sometimes it became a lovely couple of hours connecting with someone, sometimes a few days as someone passed through, and sometimes enduring friendships.

The connections have enriched me. I have met so many incredibly interesting people this way.

5            Events and Groups

Once you have chosen your spot, found a monthly rental in a flat share or other sort that suits you, find out what’s on.

This can be evening events and gatherings. But it also depends on what you’re interested in. If you like to work out, find a gym. If you like hiking, find a walking group. If you like movies, or playing pool, ask those who are already familiar with the area. There are bound to be groups who you can join and use to make connections. You never know who you will meet. I often find the best occasions come from the most unexpected places.